Kill Gilligan and You Can Leave The Island

I’m not usually the murderous type but there are a couple of characters out there, that even rewatching them on You Tube give me the anger of a Titan and the murderous rage of a cat in an enclosed room full of fat overweight mice.

Let’s talk about Gilligan from Gilligan’s island.

Every single stinkin time that the cast was going to get rescued…..along came Gilligan.

To a point, it was everyone else’s fault because he continued to do stupid crap that prevented them from leaving and they continue to allow Gilligan to exist.

If they would have just chained him up or fed him to the natives, then maybe they would have escaped the island more quickly.

But then there wouldn’t be a show that I can watch on my computer now would there?

I don’t ever want to watch Gilligan’s Island ever again.

The only reason I ever watched it growing up because it was always on in between the shows that I wanted to watch.

Usually after a long day playing with my friend, we would watch TV for an hour before dinner….and we suffered….through Gilligan.

We didn’t want to watch the news so from the four channels we had, we would want to watch Monty Python and You Can’t Do that on Televisions and sometimes the Flinstones.

But…Gilligan seemed to be on almost every other show and there we were…watching his antics.

I can’t stand Gilligan….first of all…their outfits.

Who walks around with a sailor hat?

On the show, he can’t go five minutes without doing something completely insane like ripping a door off a house or falling over.

Then the professor would make a coconut into a television and he was superior in invention but somehow Gilligan would ruin everything.

Gilligan.

Oh Gilligan.

Why?

Just Why?

I remember an episode that had something to do with a boat and all I remember was a bunch of slap happy ding dongs running back and forth on a boat with boards all over the place and Gilligan and Skipper just flopping around.

The dumbest thing?

The boat was on land.

I don’t remember much else about that episode.

And you know what else…why wasn’t there ever any romance on Gilligan’s Island.

Those girls were kind of hot but no one ever tried to mack on them.   It was like a bunch of adults who lost all their vaginas and weiners.

But yet the girls wore daisy dukes.

If those girls walked down the street today they’d either get asked for their menu or they’d be cat called for sure.

But not on Gilligan’s Island.

Ok..so maybe it’s a bit harsh to try and kill Gilligan but I’m not a fan of that type of show.

It reminds me of the Pink Panter.

The Pink Panther was another buffoon in the TV world…just the same as inspector gadget.

They aren’t really the heros but everyone is fooled into thinking so.

Who thinks of this?

So I’m sure you must be wondering what I think of the Three Stooges then?

ahh…The Stooges.

So..I do like the Three Stooges…but here’s why…

The show is Called the Three Stooges.

You fully expect to watch a lengthy show of three mindless idiots.

With Gilligan’s Island, you kind of expect to learn about an Island and a tropical paradise and watch how men survive….right?

But the Three stooges.

How can you expect anything else but slap happy comedy.

Those stooges are just ridiculous.

My favorite Three Stooges episode is the one where they try to build a house for their girlfriends.

When they were trying to build the house..pretty much everything didn’t work out.

I can handle the Stooges because it’s total nonsense and it wasn’t on all day long.

It’s more like a comedy relief.

It’s kind of like the Adam’s Family.

Just a little bit is enough and then you move on.

But Gilligan?

Oh no.

It’s every hour, it seems that he was on.

I bet you if Gilligan and The Three Stooges were stuck on an island, then the Earth would probably invert and we’d all be sucked into a ridiculous nonsensical plasma of idiot goo.

Or what about The Adam’s Family and Gilligan.

See…you know what would happen there.

The Adam’s Family should have been stuck on the island with Gilligan.

They would have electrocuted him or cooked him for dinner or something right?

You know what is even crazier than Gilligan, the fact that there are real life Gilligan’s in the world.

Do you know any?

My friend’s daughter almost is….

But in my opinion…anyone that is at the same level as Gilligan are locked up in insane asylums nowadays…but not Gilligan.

And how did Mrs. Howell have a perm the whole time?

I mean….what gives?

Was there a constant supply of make up and beautician supplies on the island?

Maybe they were in Lost in Space for a while and then they landed and they were actually aliens.

Actually..Lost in Space was a good show because it was about space and had a talking robot.

So…when you have a robot made out of plastic clamps and french drain pieces you know you have a good show right.

“Danger Will Robinson”

That robot needed to be on Gilligan’s Island…and every time that Gilligan would come around, then the robot could go and just clobber Gilligan with his plastic french drain hands and maybe Gilligan would have not been such an idiot.

Imagine if the Lost in Space Robot was able to keep Gilligan away from not only Will Robinson and the Doctor but also away from the Gilligan’s Island crew so at the very very least, they could get off that freakin island!

So…needless to say.

I don’t much care for Gilligan.

Gilligan would not last on any realty TV shows today and he’d probably be six feet under just for continually messing up anyone’s escape plans.

Can you imagine Gilligan on one of those reality shows like the Amazing Race?

Yeah right.

..but..I might watch it.

 

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